Graduation is near

I find myself here in the Student Union on campus trying to figure out if I really have anything forward to look at after I graduate. However, I have been unable to really pinpoint anything. This is what I was not expecting almost 5 years ago when I graduated from high school. Is this a sign that maybe I wasted 5 years of my life? But now as I write this positing I realize that I'm actually in a better situation than I was almost 5 years ago. One of my best friends in high school decided to cut me out of his life, finally branched out on campus and got to get back in the game of being vulnerable with meeting new people, experienced what love was, and really learned what hard work is. I love that I may have no direction. Yes, I realize that sounds like I have no ambition, and if you think I don't, you may be right. Yet, I find myself chershing the opportunity that I finally get to escape from academia and enter into a new world where I could really experience what is out there. As much as I hate change, I'm excited about what awaits and what new direction I will take, if any.

I guess a big reason why I'm writing this post after almost two years is because I'm bored as hell right now, procrastinating on a paper, and trying to get what will happen tomorrow out of my mind. Whatever happens when I get out of here, happens; there are no excuses for how I may fail, but if anything, I feel entirely lucky to have a shot to fail and enjoy what the world can teach me. However, time can still slow down!!!

Boredom= Boring Writing

Once again, I really have nothing to add to the blog world. I guess I would just prefer to discuss the horrendous health care bill that just passed in the Senate, but that would just be a waste of time. I could talk about the beautiful smack down that occurred in LA, but that would be too easy. I could spend the time discussing my lack of straight A's, but no one wants to hear me bitch. I have the option of talking about the lackluster holiday season with all of my family, but what would that solve? I think it would solve nothing, which gives me plenty incentive to not go any further. Maybe, I could talk about my new love of biking, but people reading this would think: "what took him so long?" I would describe the weak actions that took place in Copenhagen, but the Daily Show already covered that too well.

I have the option of discussing my year in review, but, will that really draw your interest? I think not. There is just so much to talk about, but I really have nothing to add. I mean I could add my opinion, but no one wants to listen to some underachieving undergrad. I could describe my problems, but that won't do any good. Man, I thought by this time in my life I would have something to add to the vast dialogue of the Internet; however, this has remained not to be the case.

The CSU was supposed to turnout better writers, but it seems that I have fell through the cracks and now I remain to be an incompetent writer. Oh, my bad, I forgot that no one wants to hear me bitch about my life. Everyone already has it tough and giving my "two-cents" of bitching is like watching a horror movie that makes you feel like shit later.

I apologize; I just slipped there. Wow, where did this blog entry go? I guess I did have something on my mind, but nothing of any substance. However, I find it funny and a little lame how the highlight of my day has involved writing this "entry" and listening to 3OH!3. But I think most of us could agree that this group is decent. Great, now, I probably just alienated the two people who may view this blog. Well, I hope everyone has enjoyed their holiday season.

Happy New Year!! I hope that 2010 treats you far better than 2009!!

A Little Nervous

I have nothing really to say of any significance. I wish that there was some cool and interesting topic that I could discuss, but I have nothing to offer this week. My focus is just on surviving finals. This is all on my mind. I have never been so stressed. I have three take-home finals, and ironically I feel more pressure from this. I wish I could explain why, but I can't. I'm just so bummed that I have nothing to write about. I'm too stressed to write anything of cachet. I have never been so frustrated with myself. I hoped that by this time of the semester, I would be writing about some avant-garde topic, but that remains to be far from the truth.

I hope that I survive this finals period. For the first time in my college career, all of my grades are up in the air. There are no guarantees that I will pass any of my classes, which is quite disturbing. I did this to myself, and there is no one I can blame. I failed myself and everyone else this semester. I find it harder and harder to discover what I bring to any situation. It is sedulous to imagine that this semester is coming to an end, and the weird thing is I don't want it to come to an end. I guess it's just to put off the inevitable, pending how bad my grades are going to be. Best of luck to everyone, during finals season.

I didn't follow through

On my blog entry last week, I made a point that I would write two blog entries per week and would start to edit my older blogs. However, I did not follow through on this. I really have no excuse. I believe that the "reason" for this involves my high level of laziness. I was just way too lazy to take a few minutes and write in my blog. I'm not looking to make an excuse, but just to express this high level of disappointment with myself.

This feeling of unremitting disappointment has continued over the past two weeks. I'm still doing major term papers the night before, and now I'm doing the wrong homework assignments. This would have been somewhat understandable if I were a freshman, but now that I'm in my fourth year, this is now abhorrent.

I thought by this time in my life, I would not be pulling these petty all-nighter's for my term papers. Pulling all- nighter's for exams is a different situation, but since I was aware of these papers being due months ago, it makes it even worse.

The reality is that if my grades stay on track, I will be graduating soon. These type of mistakes and irresponsible actions will not be acceptable once I start a career of some sort, and even now these actions are not acceptable.

However, on the brighter side of life, it is Thanksgiving. Despite my shortcomings, I still feel thankful for everything. I'm thankful for the support of my family and friends. I remain thankful for still having a job, and I'm thankful that I have the opportunity to help people when I work at my internship. I know that times are tough and life only seems to be getting tougher, but I still remain grateful for the chance to participate in what life has to offer. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving, and more importantly to get plenty of sleep.

I Want to Hibernate

Sleeping is one of the best activities to partake in. The reasons behind this statement are unadorned. First of all, sleeping is free. Second of all, sleeping is quintessential, since no one is around to bother me. I am an extremely deep sleeper. I can sleep through anything. Even my alarm clock does not always do the trick to wake me up, as this has caused myself to show up late to many classes and shifts at work throughout my life.

I find it funny when a selected group of people are in a constant quest for material possessions, I instead find myself working for the opportunity to sleep and relax in the comfort of my own home. Nothing is sweeter than being at home on my recliner, couch, or floor, sleeping. It is true, that the best things in life are free. Sleeping is near the top of this list, as being one of the top free things that any one person could attend to.

Due to my now "semi-busy" schedule, I find myself searching for the chance to relax in the confines of my own home. All I know is that I'm extremely excited that Thanksgiving break is near. I will have the chance to finally relax in my house, and sleep for more than four hours. Turkey and pies may be something to celebrate, but nothing is sweeter than the feeling of a nice, calming sleeping session, where the stresses of school and work remain at bay.

Since I mentioned Thanksgiving, I just want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving, and to acknowledge the things that I'm thankful for. In this case, I'm thankful for my family and friends, having the opportunity to be going to college, my job and internship, and having the chance of making the world a better place with the gift of life. I may not have the life I want, but I still remain grateful for the life I have.

Trying to Find the Words

I hate this. I'm in a constant state of writer's block. I have no rhythm in my writing anymore. My grammar and punctuation placement has become worse this semester, despite the significant strides that were made in my writing last semester. I wish I knew what I could do to help break this quandary on my writing, but nothing has worked. I tried to just type out random statements on essay's, but this has not worked. I have tried listening to some favorable music to help myself get in the rhythm of writing, as this method did not work.

I feel and know that I can write, but the constant amount of mistakes that I continue to make is truly unforgivable. After surviving Professor Quill's class last semester, I believed that my writing had reached a new level that was untouchable, but this has turned out to be false. The reasons why this has become a false belief, involves what happened in class last week. The activity involved the entire class and the faulty sentences from everyone's blogs, which as a class we were required to correct. Let's just say that I had more than one entry in this activity. This went as far to include two of my own faulty sentences, which were listed right next to each other. I was constantly shaking my head in embarrassment, as I continued to identify my lackluster sentences. I really had thought by this time in my college career that I could write, but this once positive mindset about my writing has now greatly deteriorated. The fact is I have no excuse for my macabre writing efforts. There is still much work to be done, before I can even consider my writing to be up to the level that it was up to last year.

I love writing and all of the positive opportunities that it provides to express my ideas, concerns, and anything else on my mind. I vow that for the rest of the semester that I will edit my older posts, and will contribute more blog entries, so that I can continue to develop my writing. I'm thankful that my Professor sent me this wake up call.

Justice Was Not Served

I'm in shock, and I remain even more confused since the end of the 2009 World Series. The World Series this year was between the New York Yankees and the Philadelphia Phillies. It is hard to imagine that this one man, who cheated the game of baseball would have the opportunity to celebrate the end of a season with a World Series title. The person that I speak of is Alex Rodriguez.

Before this season had started. Mr. Rodriguez admitted to using performing-enhancing drugs to give himself an ever greater advantage to dominate his profession. It is a given that Rodriguez was a Hall of Famer before he had started to use performance enhancing drugs in 2001. Rodriguez would eventually stop using these performing enhancing drugs in 2003. His reasoning behind these actions, all had to do with the pressure of a 10-year, 252 million dollar contract that he signed with the Texas Rangers in 2000.

Rodriguez would express his admission to ESPN reporter Peter Gammons about his use of performing enhancing drugs and the reasons behind his decision to use these substances:"When I arrived in Texas in 2001, I felt an enormous amount of pressure, felt all the weight of the world on top of me to perform and perform at a high level every day". (1)

This type of reasoning is understandable, but at the same time it does not exculpate the use of these substances. If, Rodriguez did not want the pressure of such a high stake contract, he should not have signed that brobdingnagian type of deal. Rodriguez had a choice, he knew what he was doing as he embarked on a risky procedure to help meet the high expectations of his record setting contract. It really makes me cringe when Rodriguez uses this reasoning to justify his use of performance enhancing drugs.

The fact is every single person on the face of this planet is faced with pressure, it may not be the same level of pressure, but it is still pressure. I work part-time, intern for a State Senator, and are apart of a variety of Student Organizations, but I'm not trying to cheat the system to advance my own interests. I would rather fail and live to fight for another day, than succeed and live with the constant feeling of guilt, as well as the feeling of regret for my actions.

The pressure that engulfs the average individual is a mixture of internal and external circumstances. In regards to the internal circumstances, it is based off of the decisions that we have control of. This includes having a choice at the selected situations at hand, which is basically an elective pressure. Internal pressure can, for instance, consist of joining school organizations or being apart of a school team.

On the other hand, External pressures arise from situations that we cannot control. An example of external pressure, can consist of the tough economic environment that is around today. The average worker has no control over the outside factors that are involved in the fate of their own job security. Due to these external factors, it puts additional pressure on that person to thrive in the terrible economic environment. This inability to control the outside forces only complicates the struggles of the average individual, and their desire to advance their status in the world.

However, in this case Rodriguez had internal pressures before him. He had the choice of signing that contract, and being at the center of living up to the largest contract in sports history, which would later be triumphed by a larger contract that he signed in 2007. Rodriguez had a choice in his actions to sign the contract, and he had the choice to train with integrity to live up to that contract. Still, Rodriguez decided to cheat the game of baseball.

Rodriguez did not deserve to win a ring, but I guess the unethical side of this world is allowed to prevail. This does not only go for Rodriguez, but I feel the same way about people of every profession that go about their ways to cheat the system intact.

It makes me pessimistic that once I actually enter my future profession that people are going to cheat their way to the top because of their own insecurity of failing within the system. I know that people need to survive and will do anything to advance their own well-being, but I would rather be down and out knowing that I did things the right way, than living with the continued pressing guilt to achieve my own potential success. In the end, it all comes down to making the right decision, with the choices that are available. All I can say, it is going to be a long winter, and knowing that Mr. Rodriguez has a ring will only make it harder to have faith that justice is served in our World.

Source: http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/baseball/mlb/02/09/arod.admits/index.html#ixzz0WFSUpYIm (1)