Can Despair Create Happiness?

During my Freshman year of College, I had the opportunity to take part in a Drama class. In this class, we watched a lot of movies, trying to analyze what type of camera angles were being used, if we could really believe the acting of the characters, and in this case we would have the ability to critique the movie. There was this one movie, which really grabbed my attention, it was not due to the phenomenal acting, the strong story line, or the cinematography, but it was because of this one statement from one of the characters.

This movie was "Little Miss Sunshine", in this film it gave a detailed analysis of the complex inner-workings of the average family, as this one family would experience their own set of complex problems. Toward the end of the movie, there was this scene where Frank (Steve Carrell) was speaking to Dwayne (Paul Dano), about a comment that he made about wanting to skip through high school.

The dialogue is presented as follows, thanks to imdb.com: (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0449059/quotes)

"Dwayne: I wish I could just sleep until I was eighteen and skip all this crap-high school and everything-just skip it.
Frank: Do you know who Marcel Proust is?
Dwayne: He's the guy you teach.
Frank: Yeah. French writer. Total loser. Never had a real job. Unrequited love affairs. Gay. Spent 20 years writing a book almost no one reads. But he's also probably the greatest writer since Shakespeare. Anyway, he uh... he gets down to the end of his life, and he looks back and decides that all those years he suffered, Those were the best years of his life, 'cause they made him who he was. All those years he was happy? You know, total waste. Didn't learn a thing. So, if you sleep until you're 18... Ah, think of the suffering you're gonna miss. I mean high school? High school-those are your prime suffering years. You don't get better suffering than that. "

The basic meaning of this dialogue is centered on the belief from Frank, that the years which Proust suffered through helped to make him stronger and wiser from the adversity he experienced. The time that Proust was happy and successful, as Frank explains were a waste, since he was not able to learn anything of any real substance. The question now remains: Do you buy this?

I do buy this statement to some extent. The reason why I take this statement seriously has to do with the idea that when we are faced with conflict or unfavorable circumstances, it causes us to get out of our comfort zone and take the actions necessary to survive the situation. Then the after- effects of this selected situation helps to prepare us potentially for similar future conflicts, which most likely will take hold. The lessons that we take from these past obstacles can spill over into other areas of our lives as well.

In my life I have had to overcome many obstacles to get where I am today. Even though I'm in no position to brag, I still feel that through the obstacles, which I have had to overcome have put me in a better position to succeed in the future.

In this case, I will give an example of how a situation of uncertainty and adversity has helped to put myself in a better position today. Going back again to my Freshman year of College, I was saddled with what felt like extreme pressure to do well at school, being that I was the first in my family to go to college.

The Fall semester started off terrible, I had no idea what my Professors expected or what I expected from them. I had this constant fear of flunking out, being that I previously heard horror stories of how Freshman usually flunk out. All of these new found pressures had a deep and negative impact on my psyche, as I entered in to the intense college environment.

However, there was one defining moment during this first semester for which would change me forever. In my Political Science class, we were assigned back in August, a 10- page research paper, which had to be based on the analysis of any political ideology. The only problem that occurred was that I put off writing this paper until 8pm the day before it was due. I already had my sources, but no real understanding of the subject that I was writing about. Despite these palisade type obstacles I plugged away at attempting to write a decent research paper, which at the time was my longest. I then had finally finished at 5am, and when this happened I suddenly felt a sense of accomplishment, despite having the feeling that this was not my best work.

However, I still had this feeling of Sanguineness, which I had never quite had before. The reason for this feeling as I later analyzed involved overcoming this once unthinkable obstacle of not being able to meet a college level deadline, and that if I could create a paper of decent standing with little effort and time put into it, that I could handle any situation that will be put in front of me in the future. This was a powerful feeling and a feeling that has remained with me to this day, when a new obstacle comes up. Despite having this moment of dark despair, I was able to fight through it, and because of this I'm better off for it to this day.

Even though I did not get an "A" on this paper, my "C" felt like an "A", being that I knew it was not up to my potential. Success and a little adversity can go a long way in still helping a person grow, but there is no way that it can measure up to the struggles that we all suffer through.

So, just remember that the times that you are suffering through, will end up paying dividends in the future. Facing adversity head on, despite the result, will in the long-term make the average person better off, but in the end it all comes down to if we are willing to put in the work necessary and are willing to take the bumps and bruises that come with the territory to advance our own well-being. I would hope that everybody, in every situation, in every background, and in each phase of their life will remember that there is some good, which comes from suffering through adversity, and just to remember to embrace the struggles which you are involved in, because you will be better off for it. This may sound naive or idiotic, but just think back to a time where you were faced with an uphill challenge, which you may have thought was impossible to accomplish, but even with these obstacles you were still able to push through and accomplish the goals you were seeking to meet.

Success is beyond fantastic, but there is still so much more that we can take from the adversity that we face. It may not be the best way to get where we want to go, but in the end we will be better off for the difficult situations that we get to experience.